Here I lie...here...aware of a universe breathing through me...

Clock ticking, echoing off cold white walls...
What am I?  Am I who I am?  
How do I know truth beyond images, beyond light and human love?
Is human love divine love?
How can I merge with its living, pulsing essence?

The world is here, but where do I begin?
Beyond birth, beyond time?
In the mystical descent of eternal being?
And where do I end?
Where do I find fulfillment?

In death beyond death, beyond the boundaries of the unseen
in a realm of nothing I can know or feel or be...
eternal silence,
just laughter with crying
laughter with crying.

It all hovers back together, you and I.
We are souls in a vivid stream of anointment.
Let us be unified with the whole!
Let us seek the depths of being in each other
emptying our cups so that
"I don't know" is the last faltering answer
that we can pretend to contend with.

But the question of our wholeness, despite any answer, will always grind in my mind and pierce my heart.

Tears melt and water my fading core as I spiral downward each moment, sinking and drowning in the strange bliss of the slanted sun shifting mysteriously behind enchanted clouds who gaze on the rolling sea and on me with utter compassion.

The weeping and bliss go on and on, wails of grief merged with waves of frothy laughter.

Yes!  It's in that kind of wounded gaiety that life begins to live, where death fades and tears freeze, the ice descending into solemn waters returning to its source...

Oh Source, let me serve you, let me be in you as you are in me...

Sometimes we march to our own deaths and how sweet the essence of that union with love is, day-by-day, moment-by-moment,
let me burst; unleash the torrents of joy
locked in the cracks of my being.